I accept defeat,
I overestimated myself, underestimated the country, and my end is close now. I am hungery, I need help. I always pushed people away, believed that mankind was created to survive in the nature, therefore can live off the land, return to its basic, primitive instincs. I've been in the wild for almost four months I presume, and I don't think I will last any longer. Now I am facing death, it looks me right in the eye, ironically laughing, since I donated all my money to OXFAM, a foundation that fights hunger, and here I am dying because of lack of food. If I die here, in my magic bus, at least I will die representing what I believe in. If someone ever finds out my rotten body, maybe wonder what brought me in the middle of nowhere, maybe that someone look my life up and be inspired by my story, my journey and my tragic end. I am leaving a mourning family and beloved friends such as Wayne Westerberg and Jan Burres, but I hope that the ones that understood why I had to do this will remember me fondly, and the ones that refused to see my perspective will see I was dead-serious about my intentions, I was stubbornly connected to my ideals, and my hatred towards the society was worth dying for.
Here I am still talking and trying to justify my ideals, when those stupid thoughts are slowly torturing me, and pushing me nearer to the cliff of life, the pit of death lures my soul in, whispering in my ear that my death is near.
Mom and Dad, how could you betray us like that! Lie to our faces, after years of love and trust, you made us trust you people like no one else, and betray us. How could you? And after I found out, I never could believe a word you people said, how could I?
Beloved sis, I am sorry that I couldn't contact you during my odyssey, and I won't have the chance to explain how wonderful it was, a two year long tramping followed by a few months of primitive experiences in the nature. If I will get a chance to talk to you, I would like to say that you are the most important person in this huge world for me, and the only one that I actually care about. I am sorry that I will cause sorrow in your life, that I will be the reason why you shed tears.
Good-bye everyone, every single drop of water, every leaf and every note of music.
Chris McCandless dies today, Alexander Supertramp died long before, when I accepted defeat and failure.
